Meowy Christmas, Ya Filthy Animal Read online

  The camera panned right, and none other than Journi’s and Gramma Jude’s bespelled security guard came into view. He’d climbed onto the rim of the courtyard fountain, its holiday-themed light show providing the perfect backdrop. Looking as joyous as he had when they’d left him in the warehouse, he charmed the throng of listeners with winks, grins, and hat tips as he strutted about, plucking the guitar and singing his ensorcelled heart out. Though he had no microphone, his energetic rendition of “Here Comes Santa Claus” rose above the melee. Someone had produced bells, and the combined voices of onlookers joined in, merry and out of tune, as they sang along.

  “Am I looking at a black man dressed as a singing cowboy?” Frieda inquired slowly.

  As Frieda was quite black herself and a McCutcheon in name and spirit only, she was particularly qualified to make such observations.

  Journi’s voice emerged half strangled as she brought her fist to her mouth to hold in the laugh. “Yep.”

  “In a red polyester suit?”

  “Yep.”

  Aunt Frieda looked at her. “You and your meddling granny wouldn’t have anything to do with that, would you?”

  Journi cleared her throat, the absurdity of the night catching up with her and threatening to burst forth in the form of maniacal laughter. Somehow, she managed a choked, “Of course not.”

  They stared at each other for a moment, then Frieda returned her gaze to the involuntary Gene Autry tribute.

  Journi did as well, and together they watched as the jolly fool sang with a country-and-western lilt that his family would surely never let him live down. Grinning, Journi leaned her cheek against Frieda’s shoulder and said, “You know, he’s actually pretty good.”

  Chuckling, Aunt Frieda put an arm around Journi as the jingling door behind them announced the arrival of another potential adopter. “He actually is,” she confirmed and shook her head. “Merry McCutcheon Christmas.”

  The End

  For Meow

  Continue the magic-packed, cat-centric series with Cat Me If You Can!

  AUTHOR NOTE

  Meowy Christmas, friend! (Or happy whenever-you’re-reading-this!) I hope you enjoyed this holiday hullabaloo featuring the shenanigans of Journi and Gramma Jude. Writing this novella has been a particular treat. As you might have guessed, Gramma Jude is one of my favorite characters to work with, and she was in fine form this Christmas. Poor Journi will never be the same! So, is Santa Claus actually her grandpa? Well, only Gramma Jude knows the answer to that question, and I expect we’ll never get a straight answer out of her. We’re lucky to get crooked ones! But what’s Christmas without a little mystery, right?

  Before I wander off to wrap some gifts and indulge in some mulled cider that may or may not be spiked, I want to tell you about the cover cat, Steve. Steven is in fact a real-life rescue who recently joined our personal feline family. My husband and I found him alongside a desolate back road a couple of months ago. Steven was starving, flea-ridden, and injured. We’ll be forever grateful for the flash of orange diving into the weeds as we drove by. Had we not discovered him that day, well . . . I’d rather not consider what might have become of him. He’s since made a full recovery and has made himself quite at home with us. And fun fact—he was perched atop our toilet when I snapped his photo for the cover. I’m nothing if not classy, folks! You can watch footage of Steve’s rescue and progress on my YouTube channel, Author in the Wild. In closing, I’d like to thank you again for reading Meowy Christmas, Ya Filthy Animal! If you have the means, please consider adopting a cat or donating to your local shelter. And, remember, you never know when you’ll need a lasso.

  Hugs and kittens,

  Gemma Thorne

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  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Gemma Thorne is the author behind the Hissing Booth Chronicles. Unlike the heroine in Crazy Cat Lady, Gemma really is a crazy cat lady. She collects them like your grandma collects Hummels. Married to her high-school sweetheart, Gemma haunts the hills of Ohio, thinking up new and fantastical fantasy stories one page at a time. When she’s not writing, you can find her murdering tacos and pizzas. It’s gruesome. Seriously.

  OTHER BOOKS BY GEMMA THORNE

  The Hissing Booth Chronicles

  Cat Me If You Can

  Crazy Cat Lady

  You’ve Got to Be Kitten Me

  Meowy Christmas, Ya Filthy Animal!

  Esme’s Enchanted Emporium

  There in Spirit

  That’s the Spirit

  CONTINUE THE JOURNI

  Buy the next book in the series, Cat Me If You Can!